she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
it's great music for shaving your balls
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
