that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
