every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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