Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
