he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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