The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
