your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
