discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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