I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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