I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
