I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
