When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
