Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
