I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
