Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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