WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
