Can Purell be used as lube?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
