Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize