If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize