You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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