I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
