i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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