just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
