You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
be right there i have to get my cape
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
