A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
being pregnant is like rehab
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
