where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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