how do flat chested girls get laid?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Sorry about my life...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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