I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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