Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
