i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize