There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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