Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
