Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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