You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
