WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
