I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
