so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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