Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
