he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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