The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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