just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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