if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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