those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
