This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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