Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
