I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
NoShamevember. You game?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize