You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
