I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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