I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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