I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
