Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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