I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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