I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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