i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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