You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize