i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
