No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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