Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
